The first question people ask me once they realise I’m pregnant is ‘are you going to find out what you’re having?’
The twenty week scan is such a big moment, finding out what your having is like one step closer to holding your baby. You can start getting organised, decorating the nursery, deciding on a name, preparing young children – the list goes on. After writing down all the positives to finding out, you may think why wouldn’t you?
Well, as my twenty week scan is fast approaching you may be surprised to hear that I won’t be finding out. I didn’t find out with either of my girls. Like most Mum’s, the suspense is killing me and I would like to start sorting out some baby clothes and getting a little prepared (especially if I have a boy). Having said this, me and my husband have decided to wait for the birth day.
This is quite unusual nowadays. I remember when I was giving birth to Harri over three years ago and my midwife was so surprised when she realised I didn’t know what I was having – she was almost excited as I was. The majority of people do find out and a lot of people can’t understand why I don’t.
So let me tell you why – I love once the baby is born the excitement of finding out what we have had, remembering Harri’s birth – I loved my husband saying to me seconds after she was born, his words full of love ‘we have another girl’. I love making that call to my Mum, Sisters and friends to tell them the news! I then loved looking at her tiny beautiful features and making the final decision on her name. Such a big huge memorable moment for us all that I want to experience again.
There is no doubt that finding out at the twenty week scan is special for some but, for me, I will be holding out until December because the waiting and suspense and the un-organised mess will all be worth it once I can share the news and see the excitement on my girls’ faces.
What are your thoughts? Did you find out?
Originally published on Emma’s Diary
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Aww this is so lovely! Of course it’s a lovely surprise whenever you find out so whether it is at your scan or when they arrive but I have to say that I’m with you on this one. I never wanted to find out with my babies either but Mr Mostly did. So over my four pregnancies, we did it just about every way! Ha! I didn’t find out with our first, they couldn’t tell us with my second as she wouldn’t uncross her legs (!) and for boring old practical reasons, we found out with our third and fourth. I have to say that our first surprise was definitely my favourite way of finding out. There’s something so special about that it’s a boy/it’s a girl announcement as they are born!
I’m with you! I wrote a post on this exact subject a while ago, as we didn’t find out and I was surprised that we seemed to be in the minority. I also can’t wait for that extra little surprise when he/she is born in November, and I remember being with my Mum when she heard by brother called and told her they’d just had a girl, and it was priceless. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, can’t wait to hear what you have! #ablogginggoodtime
I found out with both of mine because I’m just hideously impatient, but I can imagine it must be incredibly exciting to find out at the birth. I hope you’re pregnancy is going well and you are feeling good! #ablogginggoodtime
I wanted to but at every scan he was laying the wrong way. I found out at a scan at 35 weeks in the end and I was thrilled. I had a really traumatic birth, all I cared about when he was born was that we were both still alive. The gender question is too big, find out, don’t find out. Its up to you as parents, but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter? I feel that for me, it helped with the connection before he was even born, but who’s to say it wouldnt have felt the same had I not known. Meh, I guess im just to organised to want to wait! #ablogginggoodtime
I’m with you on not wanting to find out – we found out with Jessica but only because of her heart condition – I needed to know her gender so I could bond with her as much as possible while I was pregnant. With Sophie, we didn’t find out though – I wanted to have that surprise when she was born and it was magical to find out then. #ablogginggoodtime
I did find out on my daughter, but I love when people don’t find out. I personally couldn’t do it though, I am so impatient haha. I wish I could wait though and then have that beautiful moment you discussed where your husband told you what gender your baby was. Beautiful. I know a lady who didn’t find out on her first baby (which was a boy) and is now pregnant again and is super eager to find out. I think it’s so she know if she is having another boy or if she gets to experience having a daughter. I most definitely couldn’t wait on my second haha. Well done you for your resilience! #sharingthebloglove
I’m the same – I was slightly tempted second time round purely for practical reasons – should I keep Spud’s old clothes, toys etc… but I wanted it to be a surprise, something to announce on the big day. Plus I didn’t mind either way pink or blue I would have been delighted x #ablogginggoodtime
Yes I will be delighted with a boy or a girl xxx
I did find out with both my babies ( because I’m soooooo nosy). As you’ve mentioned in your post – It will be a really wonderful surprise for you on the day, and such a moment when you tell everyone. #stayclassymama
Thank you lovely – I do love making the announcement once the baby is born.
I did find out and would always find out. I can’t do surprises haha! But I think it’s really lovely. My friend didn’t find out and she found it really easy not to know. Even though she had extra scans she wasn’t tempted.
It will be such a lovely treat for you after giving birth!
#StayClassyMama
Oh I am always tempted – but I guess once I know then there is no going back (if that makes sense!). Thank you lovely I am very excited xx
Aww so nice. It’s so excitING. I couldn’t wait to find out but that’s more because I’m a ridiculous organiser! #stayclassymama
I could do with finding out as I am the most un-organised person in the world! Thanks lovely x
We didn’t find out with either of our boys. I was curious with our second but hubby didn’t want to know. Then the need to know the sex became even less important when our 20 week scan highlighted a potential heart problem. Thank Godness he was OK! I liked the surprise of it all too. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?
It is a lovely surprise isn’t it – I have never regretted waiting. xx
I found out both times because I just couldn’t wait. I love the idea of having a surprise though, and I always said if I had a third I wouldn’t find out x #sharingthebloglove
It is so tempting to find out and just get a little organised – I have pretty little dresses coming out of my ears so if I had a boy we would need a whole new wardrobe!! It is so exciting though xx
That’s so lovely – I’m excited to find out whether you’re having a boy or a girl! I just don’t have that level of restraint myself – it’s something you can know, so I desperately wanted to know! And we had some other things going on at the 20 week scan that meant I wanted some good news to come out of it too if that makes sense? But I do think it’s lovely to have a surprise if you can be patient enough! Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove
Ah lovely I completely understand why people find out – I am tempted at times!! Thank you for hosting x
I can really relate to this. We found out what we were having but if I get pregnant again we won’t find out. I want the excitement at the birth! When we did find out though we didn’t tell any of our family because they wanted a surprise, but that was hard to keep up and I want a little surprise too!! #fortheloveofblog
I find this really interesting as I am a midwife myself. I had my first baby this year and found out at my 20 week scan that it was a boy but we kept it a secret and that was lovely just the 2 of us knowing. I think if I have another baby I would probably find out again. But I do like the way you describe the excitement at the birth of not knowing. I find its 50/50 between couples that know and don’t know what they’re having. I guess it’s just personal choice. #ForTheLoveOfBLOG
We found out both times, which meant out girls were comfortable sharing in the awkward first photos. It’s a personal choice for all and I respect your decision. Obvious you are one #stayclassymama
I’ll be waiting with you until December ! <3
I didn’t find out with either of my children. I loved not knowing and the anticipation of finally finding out. As long as they were healthy I didn’t mind if they were a boy or girl.
#fortheloveofBLOG
I’m with you. We didn’t find out with our first baby and I got to be the one to see what we had. It was such a special and exciting moment. Unfortunately this time around my husband really wanted to know so after weeks of begging me, I gave in and we found out. I’m delighted we’re having another boy but would have been nice to have a surprise again xx #blogginggoodtime
Hi Natalie! Lovely to meet you. That is such a fabulous photograph of you and your daughter! I just adore her expression. Its one of those pictures that made me smile on reflex.
Anyway, in answer to your question, we didn’t find out with our first (now 13 years) but I just knew it would be a girl. We did with our second….I was convinced it would be another girl but I also wanted to check because I like decluttering and I could get rid of a load of stuff out of the loft if it was a boy! Mind you, I probably would have waited just in case to make sure they got the sex right before chucking!
Love your logo. #fortheloveofblog
Ah I love this! We didn’t find out with our third either, although we did find out with no.1 and 2! Not many people wait these days but I am glad we did the last time as it was nice to do it a little differently and I still remember the amazing feeling finding out just after our baby was born!
Glad to hear your scan went well too 🙂 x
This so lovely, I couldn’t wait to find out the sex of my third. We did however not tell anyone what we were having and that made it extra special for us
No we didn’t either and we could of with both of them but I wanted the surprise. Even 20 years ago the midwife in the appointment after the scan was desperate to share. I have to say, I was utterly convinced they were both boys and so was completely taken by surprise both times. Typically we only ever agreed on a boy’s name ha! But I cannot imagine having a boy now xx
Ah your so good at being able to wait until baby arrives! I was far too nosey with both of mine!
I found out with my first but if I have a second baby I might also wait after reading your post, it would be nice to have that excitement after the birth instead of everyone already knowing before hand #Sharingthebloglove
One word…awesome! You have so much willpower. With my first didn’t find out. Second…just HAD too. xx
aww love this. I wouldn’t find out either if we did it again. I loved the excitement on the day – not knowing if wed have a boy or girl. it was great 🙂 good luck with the rest of the pregnancy :0 )#fortheloveofBLOG
I think it’s loverly not to fund out, it’ll be such a nice surprise on the day. You’ve been through so long waiting for the baby that it’ll be an even more deserved to have the excitement of finding out if it’s a boy or girl. I held out until 30 weeks to find out. I was convinced we were having a girl, but someone at work said my bump was boy shaped, which prompted me to find out at our 4D scan. Anyway turns out we were having a girl, so I was right all along. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Do let us know the good news? Claire x
This is so lovely and I always love it when I read about people finding out what they have had once the baby has been delivered and the excitement of it all. But, it’s just not something I could do, if there is some information to know, I need to know. I was just far too excited that I had to find out. I just couldn’t imagine someone knowing it about my baby and me not knowing. Thankfully my husband agreed with me, so there was no argument 🙂 Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove Laura x
I love how you describe how you found out your second daughter was a girl. This makes me want to keep it a surprise for my second child. I found out with my first because I was literally dying! Haha maybe next time I’ll be more chill about it. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!
No. 1 was a surprise and we did find out for 2, I just wanted to get organised and once we knew it was a different sex I could send all the girl stuff off to good homes. #stayclassymama
I didn’t find out with my two either it is a lovely surprise 🙂